Man hiding in portable toilet; wins at hide-and-seek?

What is this I don’t even, WHAT? This news article reads as a horror story. I have several theories why someone would hide in a portable toilet:

a) They have an unhealthy hide-and-seek obsession.

b) They made a really complicated scheme to rob or assault festival attendees.

c) Their scat fetish is spiralling out of control.

A woman at the Hanuman Festival went into the portable toilet Friday and noticed something moving in the tank when she lifted the lid, according to police spokeswoman Kim Kobel. The woman exited and asked a man nearby to look inside the tank.

The man told police he saw something moving under a tarp, and when he left the toilet he heard it lock from the inside.A security supervisor then waited outside for the person to emerge. When he did, the supervisor tried to get him to sit down, Kobel said, but he ran off, covered in feces.

The suspect, who was not wearing a shirt or shoes when he came out of the toilet, was described as a white man in his 20s wearing gray sweatpants, around 6-foot-5 to 6-foot-8-inches tall with a skinny build and black hair.

Need a birthday gift for your 7 y.o daughter? Give her a boob job!

GREAT idea, isn’t it? No? Anyone? Bueller?

Well… Sarah Burge, gangstername “Human Barbie” thought so. Is it just me or does the name “Human Barbie” sound a bit like the name for a potential serial killer?

From the article: “The 50-year old, whose comments come in the weeks ministers vowed to crack down on the sexualization of children, said her girl ‘squealed with delight’ when given the £6,000 gift”

Wtf!Medicine: the Skin Gun

I don’t think much needs to be said about this. It’s just cool and it needs to be watched.

Top 3 WTF stories today

1. Man rebuilt vibrator into bomb.

I like when insane people actually look insane. If we could tell who was a nut-case from their hair, it would make the world a little easier. I think this quote summons up the story quite nicely:

Lester, whose rap sheet includes domestic assault and drunk driving busts, allegedly was planning on giving the vibrator as a Christmas gift to one of three former girlfriends, with whom he had relationships that “ended badly.” The woman who contacted police said Lester told her that “when the device was inserted into the female he would pull the trigger and it would blow them up.”

I thought about a similar revenge for a guy once: A fleshlight with hidden mixer-blades that would be triggered once you put something inside of it. If I ever decide to start producing it, I’ll contact Lester for help.

2. Man is slowly turning into a unicorn!!!

But he’s doing it wrong! It’s supposed to be on your frontal lobe, silly. Actually, it doesn’t really look like a unicorn horn at all, more like a tiny gray pickle. But a girl could wish…

 

 

 

 

 

3. Cockroach found in woman’s anus.

Pff I’m 10. Seriously though. It’s an ALIVE COCKROACH inside someone’s bum. I didn’t think this was *that* gross until I read the comment section. Some posters claim that the bug was in too good condition to have passed through the digestive tract, so it can’t have been eaten, and it can’t have crawled up there since the muscles in the colon would have damaged it… which leaves the option that it was somehow inserted during the colonoscopy.

<– Image possibly fake. So far I haven’t found anything on Snopes.

Great Parenting #2

Some people… ughh… I  just can’t.

1) “A federal prosecutor described Demink as a sexual Svengali who met women on websites devoted to single parents. Using the pseudonym Dalton St. Clair, he portrayed himself as a father of a 14-year-old daughter. He convinced women in Idaho, New Hampshire and Florida to assault their children — assaults that were photographed or streamed over the Internet and viewed by Demink, according to Mulcahy.”(…)

2) “A millionaire couple who let their son banish them to their bedroom while he held a party at their upmarket Florida estate were shocked when police knocked on the door to tell them there were 600 teenagers getting drunk downstairs.” (…)

headdesk + the ugliest furniture on the planet

1. Dad of convict tries to smuggle heroine to the prison through his ass… plans on making the transfer with a tounge kiss with his son… Is it bad that I kind of wish the officers had waited to arrest them until AFTER the deal was made?

2. And wtf is this why would you even I have no clue arrrrgghhh!

and the world keeps the wtf going

Filmmaker Rob Spence lost an eye and had it replaced with a wireless eye camera.

There’s recently been a Lord of The Ring marathon on TV which inspired me to post these, which are a bit old but awesome nontheless. Engrish subtitles  from bootled The Two Towers DVDs.

“Bring your pretty face to my axe” was the real line. Yeahh..

And hardcore dude performs a homemade liposuction on himself. It’s a bit old (June) but I haven’t seen it online before so I don’t think it’s widely seen.

Puppy throwing is just never OK :(

News: Student throws puppy at Hells Angels, flees in stolen bulldozer. But the puppy is OK.

I’m adding this to my folder of evidence that Germans as a people simply are insane, the whole bunch of them. My two ex-roomies, who were incidentally from Germany, might try to dispute that, but one of them sodomizes wooden horses and the other pretty much share my sense of humor (which isn’t really a sign of good mental health).

Also: You can now hunt animals without leaving the comfort of your living room!

Remote-control hunting originated in Texas, of course, and lets the hunters shoot animals through a rifle on a tripod controlled remotely over the Internet. The animals are tricked into the range of the rifle with food and then shot through the click of a mouse.

To end this post on a less misanthropic note, here’s a funny picture I had saved on my computer:

Random gifts for yoooo :3

There is no theme today, just an assortment of weird news, good music and funny photos that I think people should be aware of. 🙂

Need background music before we start? Put this on. It’s Best Magmu Ever by Underworld.

Lets start out with something funny but tragic. A 59 year old man died yesterday after a eel had been inserted into his rectum by his friends, after he was passed out drunk. To add to the squick-factor of it: Apparently he died because the eel had devoured his bowels. The article doesn’t mention if the eel was alright though. Sauce.

Speaking of stuff stuck where they probably shouldn’t been stuck, here’s an x-ray of a person who put a vibrator in their ass and then tried to remove it using salad tongs…which obviously got stuck as well.

The source informs us:

“The patient attempted self-removal with a pair of salad tongs, which also became lodged, resulting in two rectal foreign bodies. Multiple attempts at self-removal are typical in patients with rectal foreign bodies.” Sauce.

Btw, my Ghetto name is apparently Rieelashatatasha. I must admit, it has a certain ring to it. See what your ghetto name by using this “map”:

And this is pretty totally awesome and amazing.

I also feel that I need to pimp the new animated series “Ugly Americans“. I haven’t seen much of it yet, but from what I’ve seen it’s promising. Here’s part 1/3 from the first episode.

Has the song ended yet? Put on this instead. It’s When I’m Small by Phantogram.

Moving on. I just read that Bill Murray wants to have a pre-death funeral, which I actually find pretty sensible. I wonder if my dad would let me throw myself a funeral in his house some time. I guess it would be hard to achieve that genuine funeral-y feeling if no one is actually mourning you yet, so maybe you’d have to fake your death first… which could make some people upset, which in turn would make less people show up for my actual funeral. Anyhow, you can read his comments about it here.

Tech stuff: There’s a useful site which you can use to do a quick analysis whether a photo has been manipulated with or not. The instructions are at the FAQ so you should all check it out. Here’s an example and link to the site!

This doesn’t need an explanation, just watch it.

I have more I want to post, but I’m gonna save it for another post, otherwise I’ll have to tag this one like crazy.

The pope, the US and the… I’m not really sure what it is. 3 news.

1. I love IRL trolls. Here’s a memo that was sent to the Pope before his planned visit to Britain, suggesting that his holiness should launch his own condom brand and start an abortion clinic.

2. Lisa Kirkman, a supporter and activist for medical marijuana and legislation, is trying to get her son back after he was taken 2 years ago by CPS. Kirkman is a Canadian citizen and has been away from her son since he was sent with her boyfriend (who had paternal rights in Canada) to visit the US, where CPS supposedly took the kid because the the boyfriend’s paternal rights weren’t legit there. So if I’m understanding this correct, if I had a kid and I wanted him/her and a close friend or a sibling to go to a trip to Oregon without me, CPS has the right to place the kid in foster care since I’m so irresponsible…?

3. I’m just going to post the link here, in case anyone is sensitive to a bit of blood. I’m intruiged though; is this real or fake? If it’s real, is it a self-injury or is it an actual accident? In that case, ouch ouch… ouch. Click here to see the picture.