Archive for June, 2010

This is why I became a vegetarian, MWAHAHHAHAHA. I want those tiny vegetables to suffer more! It is, by the way, now 6 months since I decided to convert. I think I should get a badge or something, like a swimming badge or one of those AA coins.

The funny thing is that the night before I found this, I asked AMA:

“Scenario: Someone put a curse on you and you will in 5 minutes be transformed into a vegetable in someone’s kitchen, but you will have all your ordinary cognitive and sensory functions intact. You get to choose which vegetable to transform into. What do you choose and why?

I think it would be worst to be a potato, since people usually peel their skin off and then boil them, and if you’re really unlucky after you’ve been boiled they might make mashed potatoes out of you. I¬†would therefore choose a vegetable that decayed quickly, so they either ate me or threw me away relatively fast. I don’t think a cucumber would be a good idea since they’re rather big and most people usually amputate them piece by piece over a span of several days. Because of this I would probably choose to be turned into a radish, plus a lot of people dislike them and aren’t going to eat them.”

The answers had 4 different trends:

One group picked a vegetable that was less likely to be eaten or prepared in painful ways: The most popular answer was brussel sprouts since most people would just throw them away.

Another group picked a vegetable after it’s ability to exert revenge on it’s reaper. One poster wanted to be a vegetable contaminated with Ecoli, another wanted to be a really potent onion that would sting the eyes of it’s perpetrator.

A third group of people picked vegetables after their likeliness to end up inside a woman’s vagina. Cucumbers and carrots were the only vegetables present in these answers.

The forth group of answers were replies to the posters in group 1 about how they would suffer in numerous ways if they ever ended up in their kitchen. Group 4 didn’t have a common vegetable, but several agreed that they would eat all the brussel sprouts in group 1.

… in other words, I’m not the only one who spends time thinking about these kinds of things.

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Ughhhh. My dog is sleeping right under my desk and farting like hell. I wonder if it’s dangerous to be near a farting dog for too long.

1) “Horse humpers”

2) “Inflation fetish” with a side-dish of furry.

3.

^it took me a moment to figure that one out.;)

… or “band’s members”. And no, I’m not selling them, but Amazon is.

I’ve never been a big Rammstein fan. I like the sound of some of their songs, like Feur und Wasser and others, but I really don’t like their lyrics and the attitude of the band just kind of kills it for me. My German is really bad though, so as long as I don’t listen closely to the songs I won’t cringe in pain. My point is, somehow Rammstein managed to lower my already low opinion of them by launching this product:

From the product description on Amazon:

“This unique version of Rammstein’s sixth studio album, Liebe Ist Fur Alle Da, comes expansively packaged in a flight Comments 0case style box. The package contains: the deluxe edition version of the album, six sex toys (numerically corresponding to each member of the band), handcuffs and lubricant! Please note this product contains sensitive elements which some customers may find offensive.”

Sometimes I miss living at home, but now that I am home during the summer break I realized a very positive thing about not living with your parents: You don’t have to stop them from using the sun chair as a toilet while sleepwalking on the balcony (which is straight across another apartment complex, with an unobstructed view from all the neighbours).

… luckily I intervened in time, and said parent choose to sit on the chair that wasn’t occupied by the sleeping cat, so no squished and defecated-upon cats tonight. The neighbours, however, might be slightly traumatised.

… also… people wonder why I’m strange… I don’t think I ever really had a chance to be normal.

I’m not ususlly THAT bothered by gore, but I hate when it pops up without a warning! Am bored tonight so I’m browsing WTF? OMGZ! because apparently I’m that masochistic. I usually avoid gore, but since they never use cuts for that shit and sneakingly place the photos where you don’t expect them, I’ve painfully groaned “Ggrhrhrhrrrohmygod…” three times this evening.

Seems like a good time for a gore post again, I guess. The theme is squished heads. I don’t really want to look at this shit again, so I’m just going to leave the links here and hope it goes to the right image.

Exhibit A) Flathead.

Exhibit B) Goggle eyes.

Exhibit C) Didn’t care to go back and search for the third one, but it wasn’t as bad as the first two, so I’m putting a unicorn chaser here instead.

News: Student throws puppy at Hells Angels, flees in stolen bulldozer. But the puppy is OK.

I’m adding this to my folder of evidence that Germans as a people simply are insane, the whole bunch of them. My two ex-roomies, who were incidentally from Germany, might try to dispute that, but one of them sodomizes wooden horses and the other pretty much share my sense of humor (which isn’t really a sign of good mental health).

Also: You can now hunt animals without leaving the comfort of your living room!

Remote-control hunting originated in Texas, of course, and lets the hunters shoot animals through a rifle on a tripod controlled remotely over the Internet. The animals are tricked into the range of the rifle with food and then shot through the click of a mouse.

To end this post on a less misanthropic note, here’s a funny picture I had saved on my computer: