I’m not dying! *phew* I just got back from the doctor’s office. It was good but scary. Turns out (sorry men, this might gross you out) that I probably have some hormone issue that stops me from ovulating, which has caused some problems. I got some pills that I’m supposed to take daily. It’s kind of ironic that I’ve refrained from eating anti-pregnancy pills because I’m suspicious of taking pills that affect my hormone levels, when my body seems to fuck that up fine by itself.
I’m mostly just glad it’s over with. I’ve been so nervous during the weekend, having to decide whether to make an appointment or not (calling is scary, I hate calling and booking), stressing out over possibility dying/being infertile, stressing out over the idea that the doctor would tell me that I’m being a hypochondriac or that it’s all in my head… also, I’ve never been to a gynaecologist before so I didn’t really know what to expect. Actually I haven’t been to a doctor at all for something other than my allergies, and only once without my parents.
Anyhow, when I got there I felt really stressed. I told the doctor (an older woman) about my issues, she asked me a bit about heriditary diseases in my family and cancer (which didn’t make me calmer) and then said:
“Ok, I think we should check for cancer just in case”
To which I weakly respond “Uh, OK” but my insides are pretty much freezing over. Then it gets worse because she continues by saying:
“Just drop your pants and underwear over there and sit on this chair”
So basically she’s checking for cancer and she’s going to do it in my vagina. Great. I normally wouldn’t grant access to that place to a woman over 60, but what can you do…
Obviously it wasn’t any cancer, or cysts. If it was, the title of this entry would be “CANCER?! IN MY VAGINA?! IT’S MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK!” Actually, I think she checked my uterus. It was a bit weird and uncomfortable, but it’s not like you go to the gynaecologist without considering that they might want to have a look down there.
Finally I was sent to draw some blood that would be analysed. I told them I was a vegetarian and that I don’t eat supplements, so they will test for b12 levels as well even though I’m not sure if it affects fertility. They’ll also check for all the fertility hormones, like progesterone, oestrogen and FSH. I was told to take some pills to set things back in order, although I’m not really sure why I have to since I’m not trying to get pregnant. I suppose there’s some health reason for it.
Anyhow, I feel a lot calmer now that I know it wasn’t all in my head (which was a bigger fear than the fear that I would be sick o_O). The pills weren’t expensive either. Now the only things I want to know is *why* my hormones are effed up and if these pills are going to fix everything. As I said in my previous entry, I haven’t planned on getting pregnant but I’d like to have the option in the future. Apparently stress can mess up the hormones so I think this is a good cause for being lazy and let loose. Just kidding, I do that anyway.I’m going to a 90ies party this Saturday and I’m thinking of dressing up as one of the characters from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Sexy!