Archive for April, 2011

Digital art.

The concept is the essence of the human race being sold as a perfume. I think the most important things in this drawing are the different details. The model in the ad symbolizes hypocrisy. She’s a satire of award show celebrities, a beautiful woman who is at first glance publicly promoting charities (animal rights, ending wars, giving money to third world countries) but looking closer she’s wearing fur (the fox), her clothes are made by workers in sweatshops and her jewellery symbolizes blood diamonds. She’s representing people who put up a façade of virtues while being unwilling to give up the luxury that depends on other people’s suffering.

It’s a cynical piece which focuses on the negative sides of humans. It mocks the definition of “have humanity” and “be humane”.

Click on the image to see it in fullsize.

death

Posted: April 27, 2011 in Personal Life

Cindy’s going to the vet tomorrow.
I got a call from home saying my great-aunt is probably dying too. My paternal grandma was gone in Alzheimers since I was very small, so her sister (my great aunt) became kind of like my grandma. She doesn’t have any kids of her own. I’ve been nagging my dad to go visit her with me for ages but he’s always forgotten or stalled it. She’s schizophrenic and during the last few years she’s been very delusional, accusing my dad and his sister for stealing large amount of money when they were kids and similar. Now it seems like she’ll die without me seeing her for one last time. I feel partly guilty and partly just sad. I’ve pushed to get to see her, but a big part of me hasn’t wanted to because the way she is. I just want to end things on a better note.
I don’t know. Life sucks sometimes.

I dressed up as a 90ies bimbo/cheerleader for last night’s 90ies party. Everything in my outfit was bought at the second-hand store for roughly $1-2 each. I drew a furby on a xxl t-shirt and then cut off the arms and made a v-neck in it to make it better suited for dancing XD

Photobucket

I’m not dying! *phew* I just got back from the doctor’s office. It was good but scary. Turns out (sorry men, this might gross you out) that I probably have some hormone issue that stops me from ovulating, which has caused some problems.  I got some pills that I’m supposed to take daily. It’s kind of ironic that I’ve refrained from eating anti-pregnancy pills because I’m suspicious of taking pills that affect my hormone levels, when my body seems to fuck that up fine by itself.

I’m mostly just glad it’s over with. I’ve been so nervous during the weekend, having to decide whether to make an appointment or not (calling is scary, I hate calling and booking), stressing out over possibility dying/being infertile, stressing out over the idea that the doctor would tell me that I’m being a hypochondriac or that it’s all in my head… also, I’ve never been to a gynaecologist before so I didn’t really know what to expect. Actually I haven’t been to a doctor at all for something other than my allergies, and only once without my parents.

Anyhow, when I got there I felt really stressed. I told the doctor (an older woman) about my issues, she asked me a bit about heriditary diseases in my family and cancer (which didn’t make me calmer) and then said:

“Ok, I think we should check for cancer just in case”

To which I weakly respond “Uh, OK” but my insides are pretty much freezing over. Then it gets worse because she continues by saying:

“Just drop your pants and underwear over there and sit on this chair”

So basically she’s checking for cancer and she’s going to do it in my vagina. Great. I normally wouldn’t grant access to that place to a woman over 60, but what can you do…

Obviously it wasn’t any cancer, or cysts. If it was, the title of this entry would be “CANCER?! IN MY VAGINA?! IT’S MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK!” Actually, I think she checked my uterus. It was a bit weird and uncomfortable, but it’s not like you go to the gynaecologist without considering that they might want to have a look down there.

Finally I was sent to draw some blood that would be analysed. I told them I was a vegetarian and that I don’t eat supplements, so they will test for b12 levels as well even though I’m not sure if it affects fertility. They’ll also check for all the fertility hormones, like progesterone, oestrogen and FSH. I was told to take some pills to set things back in order, although I’m not really sure why I have to since I’m not trying to get pregnant. I suppose there’s some health reason for it.

Anyhow, I feel a lot calmer now that I know it wasn’t all in my head (which was a bigger fear than the fear that I would be sick o_O). The pills weren’t expensive either. Now the only things I want to know is *why* my hormones are effed up and if these pills are going to fix everything. As I said in my previous entry, I haven’t planned on getting pregnant but I’d like to have the option in the future. Apparently stress can mess up the hormones so I think this is a good cause for being lazy and let loose. Just kidding, I do that anyway.I’m going to a 90ies party this Saturday and I’m thinking of dressing up as one of the characters from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Sexy!

There’s just no upside to going to the doctor if for me right now. I’m afraid that I’ll go there and they’ll either tell me “omgz ur dying” or “lol u stupid ho this is nothing.” It seems less terrifying when I type it in lolcatsspeak.

Of course, I know I’m not dying. Well, I’m 87% sure (don’t want to jinx it!). I’ve been stuck on the thought that maybe I can’t get pregnant though, which is also unlikely but maybe not as unreasonable as the dying part. It’s funny that when I really think about the fact that I could if I wish grow a foetus inside of me, one side of my lips immediately points far down, my eyebrows lowers and I squint with my eyes. This is an automatic response I get to the prospect of anything (baby, worm, tiny Mango tree) growing inside of me, feeding off my body. It’s icky and I don’t want it! Would be nice to have the option in the future though (growing worms inside me might be an exciting alternative to an ant farm when I’m 30…).

The most rational option that I’ve come up with is that the doctor is probably going to tell me to eat vitamins… y’know, because I’m vegetarian and hardly eat eggs or milk and not taking any supplements, it MIGHT mess with my body. Worst case scenario, she’ll tell me to start exercising more. But if you happen to pray to the flying spaghetti monster tonight, please tell him to be nice and protect me in his noodly appendages.

The Dot and the Line: A romance n lower mathematics began as a illustrated book by Norton Juster in 1963, and was then turned into a animated short-movie by Chuck Jones in 1965. The same year it won an Oscar for the for best Animated Short Film.

“Grüner See or the Green Lake in Austria is actually a small valley filled with freshwater during the snow melt from May to July. It is located in Tragöß, Styria, which sits at the foot of snow-capped Hochschwab mountains. And it is beautiful!

Throughout the frozen winter months the area is almost completely dry and is used as a county park. It is a particular favorite site for hikers.
But as soon as the temperatures begin to rise in spring, the ice and snow on the mountaintops begins to melt and runs down into the basin of land below.

The park fills up with ice-cold crystal clear water, which gets its distinctive green coloring from the grass and foliage beneath.
The water levels rise from about one or two meters deep in the winter to as much as 10 meters in the late spring and early summer.”

Source.