As you might have guessed, I went shopping for a new bra today. My bra collection follows a pattern of sorts; I always have one expensive, comfortable designer bra; 2 cheaper, pretty bras that I can’t stand wearing for an entire day; 3-4 shabby bras, like a sports bra and old bras that I’ve removed the under wire from so they will be more comfortable. Designer bras are almost always better than H&M bras because the staff helps me pick one that is the right size and style.
Just before summer, my amazing designer bra that I bought in Berlin broke. It broke in half, actually, as I was wearing it. In the school cafeteria. Booooiiinnnnggg! It snapped in the lines between the cups. Bummer, but since I planned on working the entire summer and thus not caring much about my looks, I didn’t buy a new one. Plus, I was broke and couldn’t afford a designer bra since they cost around $80.
But now I’m back to school and going out for parties and I got my salary. I only know of one designer bra store chain in Sweden, and they have a store in the town where I live. I went there and asked the sales woman if she could direct me to a bra without a underwire that still offered some support. The first one she picked out was way too small, and pretty much flattened my boobs. It was so tight that the alarm they put on stuff to prevent shoplifting fell off. That bra was 75D/34D and they didn’t have any in DD/E or 80D, so the sales woman came back with two different models. For some reason, even though I couldn’t wear the 75D bra, she came back with one black 70D bra. I’m not sure what the logic was. The other bra was 75DD/75E which was too big. The reason I shop at designer stores is that they’re supposed to have larger bra sizes, but apparently 70E is quite unusual. The 75E bra was not only too big, but the cups were hideously large, like a granny bra. I felt like the cups almost reached my neck.
The sales woman became more exasperated. She also asked to see me in each bra, which was mildly embarrassing, and contributed with comments like “OH NO! You DISAPPEAR in that bra!”. Eventually she picked one from Calvin Klein that suited me quite well; there was extra padding around the under wire to make it extra comfortable and reduce boob sweat. It was seriously the only one that fit well enough and didn’t make me look like I tried to tie my breasts down. I’m slightly bitter and resent the fact that men doesn’t normally have to consider the size of their dick when shopping for underwear and when I tell guys about the annoyance of bras, they will just tell me to go free-boobing ,- UNFAIR AND UNCOOL.