Archive for July, 2010

AND IT’S IN SWEDEN! WHERE I AM! HOW AWESOME IS THAT?

Hell yeah. When I’m finished with uni and making money working I’m going to move in to an invisible tree house. It was apparently constructed by Tham & Videgard Hansson, an architecture company that thought four-meter cubic tree houses made of mirror glass was something worth investing in. I wonder whether it will catch on. Thoughtful as they are, the treehouses are covered in a special film that is only visible to birds, so they won’t fly into it. I could see a use for this in the military, but for now it’s just going to be used as hotel rooms. Sounds pretty useless but neat! Sauce-isch.

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Another WTF product for you.

BrewDog, a Scottish craft brewery, just released a beer with 55 % alcohol which come packaged inside a dead, taxidermied rodent. It could be yours for just £500. Get it here (but why would you?).

It’s a quarter past midnight and I’m up listening to Sounds of Science. It’s quotes from famous scientists to the tunes of electropop music… which works surprisingly pretty well. Have a listen:

And I’m starting to like my Dad’s new GF more. I met her first this Wednesday when she offered me some spare furniture for my apartment. Now she showed up pretty wasted at our home after accompanying my dad to a “cooking night” at some acquaintances place… oh, and she was alright with dating him even though her son though he was a serial killer (he blamed this on me, because apparently the son had snooped through his facebook profile, which says he’s a member of the group “fans of American Serial killers” which was something I sent to him years ago).  So far she seems more bearable than the others that was before her (not that I disliked them… they were just old and rather boring).

Going away over the weekend, so probably no updates for a while. If you want to be traumatised by something while I’m away, check out this Serbian movie called “Heart of Darkness”/”Srpski Film” (Just means “Serbian film” I think. Not sure if that’s the name).  Trigger warning here, don’t read if you are triggered by pedophila, violence, necrophilia and rape.

The main character in the movie is an ex-porn actor who has reformed and is living a normal life with a wife and a young son. Due to financial troubles he accepts to star in one last movie for a ridiculous amount of money (warning bells, anyone?). It turns out that the director is trying to make the “ultimate snuff-film” by taking poor people  and using them as “props”. The trailer is disturbing enough, although compared to “normal” horror movies it’s not so bad… but wait, there’s m0re.

OK, here’s a spoiler alert about some of the worst things that you didn’t see in the trailer that happens in the movie.

  • A girl gets handcuffed to a bed and then raped and decapitated… and the rape continues afterwards.
  • A man gets literally eye raped (which was a term I used as a metaphor in my last blog post, coincidentally). By that I mean, someone puts a dick in his eyes and rapes him until he’s dead.
  • A woman gives birth to a baby which is in turn raped as soon as it gets out of the womb. This is supposedly an analogy for the saying that if you’re born in Serbia, you’re “fucked from birth”.
  • And as someone else who watched the movie commented, despite the horrifying subjects shown in the movie, like torture, rape and murder, and despite the fact that female genitalia and asses are shown more often than not, the producer of this movie thought it was a good idea to just use dildoes instead of actual dicks. This would have been understandable if it was a case of the actors having trouble staying hard when they had to do vomit-inducing scenes, but it doesn’t excuse the fact that it’s extremely fake looking dildos that you can tell from first glance is made of plastic

That’s all for tonight, have fun with your nightmares. I’m returning on Monday with probably something even more grotesque. BYEEE!

As you might have noticed, I changed the tagline for my blog to a reference of a Tom Lehrer song. It’s funny how my taste in music in recent years have grown more and more similar to my dad’s. He even has a book named “Too many songs by Tom Lehrer and not enough drawings by Ronald Searle” with lyrics and notes of his songs.

Oh, and I’ve been doing some painting again with my 2 euro brushes. No, they didn’t cost 2 euros per brush, I actually got 12 paint brushes for 2 euros. I’m just saying it because if I was serious about painting (which some people mistake me for being) I would probably try to get better equipment… and I would probably not paint partying elephants with a brightly orange background. Just some silliness. :3

I’m going to put it up in the kitchen of my new apartment so it can rape my eyes into alertness in the mornings.

Ooooo and I bought a new hookah/waterpipe today. Isn’t it pretty?

n-n-n-nuthing!

Posted: July 20, 2010 in Thoughts
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I haven’t had much to write about recently, so here’s some thoughts sharing a post.

I could begin by saying that I didn’t think it was possible to screw up instant coffee before a few days ago. Unless you pour way too much coffee powder in the water, making instant coffee should really be something even a trained penguin could do. All you have to do is a) take a mug, b) pour coffee powder in it, c) then add boiling water and d) stir. Even with severe coffee abstinence that should be hard to mess up, but evidently it can be done.

I’m such a retard. I can’t believe I’ve made it this far in life.

What else, what else, what else? Well, I found this poem that I like.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
– William Ernest Henley

Bahahahhuhuh this post is useless, but I’m so effin tired. Somehow the clock turned 1:30 am and I thought it was just after 11 pm. Bah!

I’ve read the translation and it doesn’t make much sense either.

This could have fitted into the last post but maybe it would have taken away the attention from blobfishman.

I’m not sure why you would want to do this but if you ever missed that feeling of browsing the webs while totally wasted and being unable to focus on anything because the screen won’t stop moving, here’s http://therevolvinginternet.com/ . Now you can experience a moving webpage without even a glass of wine.

Alsooo… I want to play this. I don’t have HL though and I can’t be bothered to get the time limited free version just to play it.

Oh, and here’s a bit of insight to my psyche. I just kind of assume that everyone in the world has some weird kink, especially guys for some reason. The longer I know them and the longer they don’t reveal a kink or fetish to me, the weirder I assume this kink/fetish is. Eventually I’m going to end up believing that the reason they don’t tell me is because it’s so weird and appalling that they are ashamed of themselves and fears being excluded from society if they told anyone. This ad on craiglist (which I’m pretty sure is fake, but still) could be one of those kinks, perhaps.

“Hello,
This may sound like an odd request, but I am looking for …a blobfish. I find them to be the most saddening yet erotic of all of the great creatures roaming the seas. I am looking for a woman (possibly a marine biologist *hint hint*) who isn’t afraid to know the blobfish in a biblical sense. Don’t worry about this being a bestiality thing, I just get highly aroused when I see a picture of a blobfish, and would very much so like to get that sense of ultimate pleasure from a real blobfish, sitting near me as I continue my loving. This will need to be a real and true relationship, as you just can’t take away something so majestic. I’m sure that, with the help of the blobfish, our love will flourish and become a beautiful romance of the deepest nature. (get it? because the blobfish is found in the deepest oceans.) Hopefully my dream woman with my dream blobfish is out there, searching for me.

^sexy