The day before exam-day

Posted: June 7, 2011 in Personal Life
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I’m trying to calm my nerves for tomorrows exam by listening to The Sounds of Science. I’ve been a bit dispirited lately, and I’ve not studied as much as I should have. It’s not that bad because if I fail this exam I can retake it before the next term begins though. I don’t think I’m doomed, I’ve just decided to wing it and not put as much effort into studying as my last exam (I studied too much for that one though, mind you. I got 50 of 54 points and we don’t have any other grades than failed/passed). If I pass this exam I will be so happy that I didn’t study more and that I spent my time on more funny things, LOL.

Today I studied between 9am to 2:30pm, then I went to join an attempt to beat the world record in water fighting. They say 3500 participated, so I can now say I helped win a world record. šŸ˜‰ It was fun.’

I will try to write that summary of my internship in a day or two, or hopefully before I leave for Greece. I’ve been a bit occupied by life and my jaws are more tense than they ever been. I think I have TMJ or I press my teeth all day and night when I’m stressed or feeling bad. Whatever it is, it makes my jaw really tense, hurt, pop and be a bitch. It used to go away after a week, but I’ve had this for several months now. I go to bed with a tense jaw and a bad back from studying, and I wake up with a tense jaw and a tense back because I sleep weird. Sorry, just had to complain! I’m hoping it’ll go away during the summer because I won’t have to think about school.

Iris’ funeral is on Friday. It’s fairly common to have a funeral exactly 1 month after someone passes away here. It’s a lot quicker in the states because so many people live there, I guess. I guess I’m not sad any more about it but I’ve been in a pretty weird mood in general. I’m angry at my dad for reasons I don’t really understand. I catch myself imagining me saying really horrible things to people. Then I get sad because I feel pretty fucked up when I fantasize about that crap. I have moodswings when I long for the days I was more ~*edgy*~ and mean, because somehow the words “nice”, “happy”, “pretty” suddenly ring false in my proverbial ears. Luckily I’m smart enough to know that I wouldn’t feel better if I suddenly started abandoning all social norms and pretend to be a sociopath… because it’s not who I am. šŸ˜› Speaking of sociopath, I have to write about my pretend TV-show sometime. I have several pretend TV-shows, it’s one of my quirks. I think it started when I was 15, when I thought up a show that would star Elijah Wood, my heart-throb at the time, and a goth chic character that was basically a Mary-Sue of myself. They weren’t together though so it wasn’t that pathetic. Then last year I invented a character for a fanfic, and I just liked her so much that I started making up an independent universe for her… then recently, or some months ago, I got the idea to create a male anti-Sue to entertain myself. I was annoyed that my favourite character from Lost, Sawyer, didn’t turn out the way I wanted in the show, so I made a character that shared a lot of traits with him, but altered him to be exactly as I preferred. He’s a bit sociopathic. I’ll tell you more later, but I need to go to bed now if I want to get up at 6 am tomorrow.

Good night everyone! šŸ™‚

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