goooglecondria freakout

Posted: April 13, 2011 in Personal Life
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

There’s just no upside to going to the doctor if for me right now. I’m afraid that I’ll go there and they’ll either tell me “omgz ur dying” or “lol u stupid ho this is nothing.” It seems less terrifying when I type it in lolcatsspeak.

Of course, I know I’m not dying. Well, I’m 87% sure (don’t want to jinx it!). I’ve been stuck on the thought that maybe I can’t get pregnant though, which is also unlikely but maybe not as unreasonable as the dying part. It’s funny that when I really think about the fact that I could if I wish grow a foetus inside of me, one side of my lips immediately points far down, my eyebrows lowers and I squint with my eyes. This is an automatic response I get to the prospect of anything (baby, worm, tiny Mango tree) growing inside of me, feeding off my body. It’s icky and I don’t want it! Would be nice to have the option in the future though (growing worms inside me might be an exciting alternative to an ant farm when I’m 30…).

The most rational option that I’ve come up with is that the doctor is probably going to tell me to eat vitamins… y’know, because I’m vegetarian and hardly eat eggs or milk and not taking any supplements, it MIGHT mess with my body. Worst case scenario, she’ll tell me to start exercising more. But if you happen to pray to the flying spaghetti monster tonight, please tell him to be nice and protect me in his noodly appendages.

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