A very mean and stupid turn of events.

Posted: February 6, 2011 in Personal Life
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Here’s three photos from three hours ago. Look at the cute, innocent, smiling censored faces and read as the looming sense of doom gets higher. Let me tell you a story of young foolishness and the quick descent into madness.

It all begun… three hours ago. The four flatmates was just finishing a delicious, home-made sushi dinner. Many laughs were had as the wasabi tickled the noses of each of it’s consumer. One of the flatmates, lets call him Nic, made a comment about the wasabi being weak. The only woman in the apartment, lets call her Jo, daringly suggested that he should try her super-strong chili sauce (otherwise known as Dave’s insanity sauce) if he wanted something stronger. Little did she know (or maybe she did) how this innocent suggestion would be the spark of an attempted manslaughter.

After some duty bound warnings laced with not so discreet baiting, Nic dipped the very tip of one of his eating stick into the bottle…

With a completely transparant attempt at remaining stoic, Nic admitted that the sauce was indeed very hot and asked whether he was allowed to oppress it’s effect by eating something. He was met with a resounding “NO!” and menacing laughter. He eventually gave up, a good few minutes after consuming the sauce. This prompted the third flatmate, who we can call Errrrk, to beat Nic’s record.




Errrrk dipped his eating stick a slight bit further into the bottle. A grain of intelligence infested the otherwise very dumb atmosphere, and he tasted the sauce on the back of his tongue were the taste receptors wasn’t as sensitive. Errrrk thus managed to remain relatively unaffected by the whole ordeal, much to the disappointment of his flatmates who were watching closely for any sign of extreme pain and suffering.

For some reason, what had begun as a cheeky challenge to one of the guys had now escalated to a full-blown contest in macho stupidity. “Oz”, the forth flatmate, suddenly decided to beat Errrk in chili sauce endurance. This was to the surprise of Jo, who knew that Oz had tried the sauce before with a somewhat unpleasant reaction and knew that it was indeed a very hot sauce. But, Oz, being the youngest of them all, went for it anyway.

…. he dipped the stick really far down the bottle…

… and he put the stick laterally in his mouth and licked off the sauce…

… 5 seconds go by. Oz starts making weird faces.

… Oz grunts and starts breathing oddly…

… Oz has suddenly started drooling like a mad dog and seems to have trouble forming words…

… through fractured sentences the rest of the flatmates managed to work out that Oz wanted yoghurt. QUICK. Yoghurt is one of the few things that neutralizes chili burns.

… Oz’s lips were suddenly very swollen and he starts to breath like he’s been running a marathon. He downs one litre of yoghurt in roughly 30 seconds.

… Errrrk tries to videotape it on his cellphone.

… Errrrk and Nic realizes that wow, this was an incredibly stupid idea.

…. Jo feels somewhat guilty over being the catalyst for these events…

… Oz keeps pacing around the apartment, drooling, grunting, breathing like a mad person…

… a mutual agreement is made that Oz won the challenge. The price is free access to Errrk’s yoghurt, which he continues to drink in an impressive speed.

After 15 minutes, Oz said the effects of the sauce was getting weaker. He described the process like this: The first seconds after he ate the sauce, his body snapped into panic mode. His pulse started racing and his breathing became more rapid. His mouth and throat began producing so much saliva that he could hardly speak or breath properly. It was kind of like having a bad fever while your mouth was on fire. Even when the effects had weakened he was suddenly attacked by acid refluxes from his stomach, trying to yield itself from the sauce.

Oz has now sort-of recovered and we think he’ll survive the night. Out of sympathy we promised to not post the photos and videos everywhere, which is why every photo here is censored.

So kids, just so you know: … the little text that says “Don’t use undiluted” on super hot sauces… is a pretty good advice if you don’t want to burn off your tounge. However, if you’re the only girl in a gang of guys and are feeling particularly evil, just ignore the warning and ask someone to take a shot glass filled with it.



  1. The Dreamer says:

    Lol… this is pretty funny! Poor Oz! 😉

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