I’m sorry for this post (yeah, right)

Posted: December 17, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Here’s a little thought about people and apologies.

I don’t care that some apologies are just a product of abiding good manners. If someone bumps in to me at the train station and give me a quick “I’m sorry” then I’m sure I wouldn’t think twice about whether the person actually gave a damn or whether they were just keen on avoiding a confrontation.

When someone you actually care about does something idiotic, it does matter why they suddenly get remorseful. Saying you’re sorry is just semantics. It doesn’t tell me anything about whether the person intends to change the behaviour that caused the hurt in the first place. Here’s a few possible reasons that I believe would cause a person to apologize about something they technically don’t regret doing:

1) They know you’re angry and somehow you being angry interferes with their life in some way.

2) Not apologizing would make them look like an asshole.

3. The worst one. Self-righteous assholes who have to gain your forgivness by any means to convince themselves that they are good people. They know they have done something wrong, and while they might do it all over again they aren’t above telling you things they don’t mean and press your buttons to try and find a way to emotionally manipulate you into saying “It’s OK; I forgive you”. The funny part is that whatever they did might not have been that bad to begin with, but the totally transparent way they try to get to your good side again just moves them from the “Potentially a jerk”-category to “Complete douche”-category in my brain.

It’s these things that makes me  think about the advantages of playing more stupid than you actually are. If people think they’re smarter than you, they won’t put as much effort in deceiving you. They believe you can’t possibly see through their act while they’re unconsciously revealing their true colours.

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